A podcast challenging the way our culture conditions us to talk about sex, intimacy, and healthy relationships.

Join us for provocative and entertaining conversations with experts — and leave with insight that will transform you and your relationships.

 

PS. Did you know that we have “show notes” for each of our episodes, exclusively available here on our website? These are the “cliff notes” versions of each episode, complete with all the links to the books, research studies, movies, and other fun things mentioned throughout our interviews that you might want to read more about afterwards!


Episode 0: Welcome to the BBXX Podcast, "Let's Get Intimate!"

Episode 1: About Girls, Boys, and the Sex Ed We Need- with Peggy Orenstein

Welcome to the first episode of the BBXX Podcast, “Let's Get Intimate!” where we discuss the most important things you never learned about sexuality and healthy relationships. Peggy Orenstein is a New York Times best-selling author of the book Girls & Sex and was voted one of the “40 Women Who Changed the Media Business in the Past 40 Years,” by the Columbia Journalism Review. Our conversation with her was so good that we’ve made two episodes of it. Click here to check out this episodes show notes!

Episode 2: Today's Not So "Liberated" Sex Culture- with Peggy Orenstein

In the second part of our conversation with Peggy Orenstein, we analyze the effects of pop culture, how sexualized it is today, and the ways this affects how young girls are living their first sexual experiences. Peggy talks about how these first sexual experiences tend to be a performance rather than a reflection of feelings- as a result of misleading ideas from the media regarding what empowerment and being a "feminist" actually means. Peggy Orenstein is a New York Times best-selling author of the book Girls & Sex and was voted one of the “40 Women Who Changed the Media Business in the Past 40 Years,” by the Columbia Journalism Review. Want to read more? Click here to view the show notes!

Episode 3: Let's get Cliterate! Narrowing The Orgasm Gap- with Laurie Mintz

“People should use their scale and the ultimate goal would be to have the same type of stimulation with a partner as they have when they are pleasuring themselves.”

A brilliant piece of advice from our guest, Laurie Mintz. She is the author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get it, a professor at the University of Florida, and an advocate for female pleasure- helping both men and women learn more about how to better achieve it. Tune in to learn more about how current college students are “the most misinformed generation about sex ever,” how to become more sexually empowered, and how to come out of the “normal” closet. Read more about this episode here!

Episode 4: (In)Fidelity In The Time of Technology- with Ari Tuckman

“As with every other technology, somehow we find a way to adapt it to use for sex.”  

In this episode, Ari Tuckman talk about the ways in which technology is changing modern day relationships, particularly in regards to the ways in which we understand fidelity vs. infidelity. Ari is a renowned psychologist and sex therapist, the author of three books, and has given over 300 talks worldwide. Learn more about this episode by clicking here!

Episode 5: Creating Body Maps and Reconnecting with Pleasure- with Tara Galeano

Our guest today is the founder of Boulder Sex Therapy, Tara Galeano, who runs workshops for women to reimagine their bodies and rekindle their sexuality- particularly after cancer. Tara tells inspiring stories of the women she works with and talks with us about the ongoing process of discovering your sexuality through your life and throughout body changes- which is something all of us have to deal with eventually in some way, and we probably all need to improve upon. Want to read more? Check out the show notes here!

Episode 6: Redefining Masculinity and "The Million Dollar Point” - with Charlie Glickman

Masculinity, prostate pleasure, shame, and multiple orgasms. In this episode we talk about the evolution of masculinity over the last few decades- from different cultural stereotypes, to new challenges, and the consequences of "toxic" masculinity. Our guest on the show is Charlie Glickman, the author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, with whom we also discuss the role of shame in men's pleasure and the "Million Dollar Point," a seldom talked about spot that allegedly allows men to have multiple orgasms. Click here to read the show notes!

Episode 7: Overcoming Shame and the Power of Sexual Healing- with Tina Schermer Sellers

Sexual shame is a global issue, but it turns out that in the US it's "even worse that we thought it was." From religion to media, in school and at home, we are bombarded messages about our sexuality that can be subtle yet extremely damaging to ourselves and our relationships. How do we cure sexual shame in order to reclaim not only pleasure but above all else- our mental health and wellbeing? 

Dr. Tina Schermer is the author of the book "Sex, God and the Conservative Church," founder of the Northwest Institute of Intimacy, and an advocate for Positive Sexuality.   

Episode 8: The Church Used to be Sex Positive- WTF Happened? - with Tina Schermer Sellers

"God loves you like a lover, and longs for you like a lover." This is just one of the many surprising examples that Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers found while researching sexuality in religious scriptures.
In this episode, she discusses how the Western church actually used to be sex positive- so where did everything get turned around, and why did religion end up cultivating and capitalizing on sexual fear and shame instead? 

Dr. Tina Schermer is the author of the book "Sex, God and the Conservative Church," founder of the Northwest Institute of Intimacy, and an advocate for Positive Sexuality.   

Episode 9: Communication - Mind and Body with Roger Kuhn

In this conversation with Roger Kuhn we talk about communication through the lens of sex, intimacy, technology, and culture. Roger Kuhn is a somatic therapist, practicing therapy centered around the relation of the body to the mind. He also focuses greatly on culture and how it shapes, challenges, and ultimately influences our experiences, both inside and outside the bedroom. He is currently completing a PhD in Human Sexuality and runs a private practice in San Francisco, CA.

Episode 10: Love & Death


Love and death are the greatest gifts given to us, but mostly they are passed on unopened.” — Rainer Maria Rilke

Dr. Jordana Jacobs argues that if we go on pretending we are going to live forever, we are actually suffocating our capacity to give and experience love. In this episode she talks about how only in accepting our inevitable mortality can we truly transform our relationships and begin to live- and love- to the fullest. 

Episode 11: The Birds & The Bees — part 1


Did you get "the talk" from your parents when you were young? When and how did you "explore" your own body? Did you use the correct names for intimate body parts? How did your childhood exposure and experiences shape your adulthood beliefs and actions? 

In episode one of our two-part conversation with Logan, we focus on sexuality through the scope of cultural influences, young children, and how to navigate the complicated landscape when parenting during those early developmental stages. 

Episode 12: The Birds & The Bees — part 2


What was your sex education like- in school, from friends? What role did technology play in your education? How do you define consent and how would you explain it to a child?

In the second episode of our two-part series, we discuss different ways to understand as well as teach consent, and developmental phases going into adolescent sexuality.

Episode 13: Keeping It "Casual" — part 1


What does “casual sex” mean to you? Does it have only one definition or are there different kinds? How does your brain — and your heart — react to it?  

In the first episode of our two-part interview with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, we discuss “casual sex” — the very wide spectrum of how we define it, cultural differences in how we view it, and how self-esteem and dopamine play important roles.

Dr. Zhana Vrangalova is a researcher, sex educator, and adjunct professor at NYU.

Episode 14: Keeping It "Casual" — part 2


Do you have positive, negative, or neutral associations with casual sex? What role does it play in “hookup culture” and how can we positively influence the expectations — and the outcomes of it?

In the second episode of our two-part interview with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, we debate both sides of hookup culture — both the good and the toxic ways in which it manifests itself — and how we can work to make casual sex more pleasurable and intimate for those who wish to engage in it.

Episode 15: Mindfulness For Sexual Connection


Fact: Maintaining a fulfilling sex life in a long-term relationship is no simple feat.
Fact: It doesn’t just “happen”. The couples who are happiest with their sex and intimacy are also those that dedicate attention, time, and energy to it.

In this episode, Dr. Stephen Snyder shares a few tools that can help you navigate this complicated yet extremely important topic, such as mindfulness techniques to help you reframe — and reclaim — your sexual connection.

Episode 16: DON'T Fake It 'Til You Make It


The expression "fake it 'til you make it" or "fake it 'til you become it" works for many walks of life — but not in the bedroom and not in relationships. We can't expect ourselves to be able to connect deeply with someone when we're not being our true selves — and more importantly, if we don't feel as though we can be our true selves with someone, then why should we want to be with them? 

In the first episode of our two-part interview with Vanessa Marin,  she shares her personal story about learning why faking orgasms needs to end — and teaches us how being authentic creates more fulfilling and pleasurable experiences in the bedroom. 

Episode 17: "Mismatched Libidos" = Everyone's Libido


You don't have the exact same sexual preferences for frequency, duration, and time of day as your partner? Welcome to the club! Population: everyone. So, what do you say we start learning from it, instead of just letting it get in the way?

In the second episode of our two-part interview with Vanessa Marin, she teaches us how to learn from our libido and how to "turn down our partner without rejecting them." She also talks about how to cultivate more kindness towards our body — even when it feels like it's betraying us. 

Episode 18: The Feminine vs. Masculine Side Of Money

In the first episode of our two-part conversation with Caroline Heldman, we discuss the role of culture and the media in defining femininity and masculinity, the harm of gender roles, and the way they shape our economy. We also touch on the double-edged sword of social media in creating social movements vs. hindering socialization. 

Caroline Heldman is a Professor of Politics with a specialty in media, gender, and race — and the president of The Representation Project.

Episode 19: Sex Sells? Or Insecurity Sells...


In the second part of our conversation with Caroline Heldman, we talk about the consequences of marketers and the media having the power to shape our culture. We learn that the average teenager is consuming 10.5 hours of media a day and we ask: What happens when the people with the most influence over them are the same ones who profit from their low self-esteem — and care more about their wallet than their wellbeing? 

We also touch on the mental health crisis of millennials and whether or not social media should be called “anti-social” media.

Episode 20: Moana & The Madwoman


In the first episode of our two-part interview with Dr. Emily Nagoski, she explains amazing fact that male and female anatomy is actually made of up the exact same parts, she helps us understand that we’re all “normal,” and teaches us how we can learn to listen to (or tune out) our internal voice — with compassion.

Dr. Emily Nagoski is the author of the New York Times best-selling book “Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life.”

Episode 21: "Pleasure Is The Measure"


In the second episode with Dr. Emily Nagoski, she explains the difference between “liking” something and “desiring” it, attachment theory, it, responsive vs spontaneous desire, and how our desire is a system of “accelerators” and “brakes” that, once understood, help us take the driver’s seat of our own desire and pleasure.

Episode 22: The Evolution of (Non)Monogamy — part 1

In the first episode of our two-part interview with Dr. Heath Schechinger, we talk about terminology and learn the nuances between different types of non-traditional relationships. We touch on jealousy and how much there is to be learned — regardless of what type of relationship you’re in — from the important communication required to navigate such a complex emotion.

We talk a lot about how much there is to be learned from all of the open communication required for non-traditionally structured relationships, and lastly, we discuss the evolution and the expectations of monogamy. 

Dr. Heath is a researcher, psychologist at The University of California Berkeley, and co-chair of the American Psychological Association Division 44 Consensual Non-monogamy Task Force

Episode 23: The Evolution of (Non)Monogamy — part 2

In the second episode of our two-part interview with Dr. Heath Schechinger, we talk about how to craft a relationship that’s right for you, more about jealousy and how it relates to anxiety, and envy, different approaches to talk to your partner about CNM relationships, and we learn more about the American Psychological Association Division 44 Consensual Non-monogamy Task Force. 

Dr. Heath is a researcher and psychologist at The University of California, Berkeley. 

Episode 24: Why Relationships Fail vs. Flourish — part 1

In our two-episode interview with Dr. Ben Karney, we learn how and why some relationships manage to remain satisfying over time while others tend to deteriorate.

We discuss what questions people should be asking themselves before getting married (but usually don’t), how cultural institutions reward married couples, the positive correlation between effective communication and sex, and question how much of marriage success comes down to luck.

Two of our favorite takeaways from this conversation are 1. There is no “right time” to have a difficult conversation. 2. Work is a distraction from relationships, not vice versa. 

Dr. Ben Karney has spent the past 15 years studying change and stability in intimate relationships, especially in the early years of marriage. He co-directs the Relationship Institute at UCLA and is a two-time recipient of the National Council on Family Relation’s Reuben Hill Research and Theory Award for outstanding contributions to family science. 

Episode 25: Why Relationships Fail vs. Flourish — part 2

In our two-episode interview with Dr. Ben Karney, we learn how and why some relationships manage to remain satisfying over time while others tend to deteriorate.

We discuss what questions people should be asking themselves before getting married (but usually don’t), how cultural institutions reward married couples, the positive correlation between effective communication and sex, and question how much of marriage success comes down to luck.

Two of our favorite takeaways from this conversation are 1. There is no “right time” to have a difficult conversation. 2. Work is a distraction from relationships, not vice versa. 

Dr. Ben Karney has spent the past 15 years studying change and stability in intimate relationships, especially in the early years of marriage. He co-directs the Relationship Institute at UCLA and is a two-time recipient of the National Council on Family Relation’s Reuben Hill Research and Theory Award for outstanding contributions to family science.